I am alone.

Unto the very core of my being,

Down to the marrow in the bone,

And I have known it,

Heard it in the wind,

Felt the ghastly moan

Of being cut off,

Cut out;

Age four - I saw

The chasm and the caverns

Deep below;

You would have thought

I could at least consort

With other ghosts -

There were none there

And if they were they hid

In shadows, spectres still;

So this is why I know

It cannot change,

Or ever will.

There is a path where trees and flowers

Form bowers of solitude

For lovers, friends, companions;

I don’t go there,

I do not know the way

And would be shunned;

Invisible:

Since age of four

Who locked the door

To make me live this way?

Alone - from being a child,

For all my life - lost

Searching for a key, an opening;

I am far inside myself,

Apart - beyond the reach

Of fingertips

Or outstretched arms:

Today is yesterday.

Jan