I let my inner critic have free reign this morning, and then punished her thoroughly for having the audacity to be so demanding. I had a day off from work, and I awoke with plans, but one look at my basement craft area turned that into Plans, and the critic took over as I stood meekly back in the corner and let her go. I did slyly suggest that she recruit some help, though.
We called upon the lone child home, the 16 year old off school for Good Friday, and grumpy because his track meet was cancelled, to be the helper. A verbal tussel later, he was fervently wishing for his coach to call and tell him his track meet was on again (no such luck for him) and was helping us- me and the inner critic, who was very grumpy with all comers.
Well, this is where the critic got her comeuppance. She wore herself out playing not just inner critic, but outer critic as well. While the boy-child did indeed help, he did so like a 16 year old boy. The critic was fuming, but I reminded her that this was a big job and we needed help. So, while picking up other people’s belongings and putting these in the correct room, sorting out books to give away, cleaning out a closet, and sweeping, my inner critic dealt with the fact that getting a 16 year old boy to do something he doesn’t like, and do it your way, is very like herding cats. She told him so, while I stood in the background and snickered. He beamed up at us innocently.
By the end of the morning, the job was done, and so was my inner critic. She was so exhausted from trying to get him to actually cooperate and stay on task for two minutes running that she packed it in for the day. She did not come up with 75 other tasks to do (which she normally does). She did not tell me that the job wasn’t perfect (which she always does). She simply left, and I washed up and headed for my writing. By the way, I should also be able to reach my papers and stamps and fabrics again, so she did accomplish something!
I will have to remember this technique the next time I feel that “get your work done, and all of it” version of the critic lurking around, waiting for a chance to pounce. Too many people to work on, and she folds up and goes away!


6 comments
Comments feed for this article
April 6, 2007 at 11:09 pm
lorigloyd
Attagirl! You handled Her magnificently!
April 7, 2007 at 5:47 pm
quinncreative
Inner Critic is always so strong and sure. Wearing her down was a great idea!
April 7, 2007 at 8:22 pm
soulsister
Yes, yes I know this one sooo well!! She tells me that I absolutely must tidy up/ declutter/clean windows, etc etc . The only problem with wearing her down is that I am so goddamed exhausted afterwards that I need to sleep her off…still no writing done!! Ah well someday I shall discover the key….
April 7, 2007 at 10:22 pm
shewolfy728
Ah- you see, the difference is that I let her play outer critic, too. It was dealing with the 16 year old boy that wore her out before she wore me out. If it had been my daughter, the story would have been quite different- her critic and mine spur each other to new heights.
April 8, 2007 at 3:08 am
jan2
Well here we have me a problem - I have things to iron, curtains that need changing, a spare room to transform, hundreds of books to give to the library or charity shop, and CD’s and clothes and on and on. Absolutely terrified to set off pain if it’s subsided so I’m having to leave those things. And do you know - the sun still rises and sets!!
April 8, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Heather Blakey
I reiterate. Another strategy is to take her to the mediation table and strike a deal with her. It has helped me many times.