Daily Archive

May you be blessed
in this season and all seasons

What stops me from writing, creating, making ‘art’? Why don’t I have a schedule where I know there will be hours devoted to the muse everyday in a professional, self-disciplined manner? I venture to suggest that it’s because I’m not…..professional. I don’t earn a living from writing, if I don’t write I won’t starve or lose my home so it’s not like I’m chasing a quid. Is this why I find other things to do such as playing computer games, watching the TV, messing about …you know, messing…I don’t have to describe messing do I? I would wager you are all familiar with the activity, messing about with such consummate ease it’s like you were born with it as a gift.

So - if I know that I’m doing anything to avoid writing, creating why don’t I have a word with myself and get on with the work? Why don’t I nip it in the bud ( messing ) and open the computer  - take myself to work  - get cracking? Unfortunately because unlike the rest of you (contradict me if I’m wrong ) I’m not driven to write, there’s no Muse whispering in my ear, I do not have a calling. I read what the rest of you produce and it always seems to me that you are striving, creativity has captured your souls and runs riot in your imaginations. You NEED to be creative, it’s your passion and cannot be ignored.

My distraction is the lack of a ‘calling’; I have no goals, targets or ambitions. It would be fair to change the question on its head and ask me why on earth I bother. I don’t have to distract myself because there’s nothing going on that it’s imperative for me to express. It actually astonishes me that I’ve kept it going this long - it’s not an enjoyable pastime. My question should really be why am I using writing to distract me from real life?

Jan